So you thought you enjoyed reading stuff? Try doing it under pressure. Now obviously nobody is actually going to put you under a deadline to read Shakespeare or Tolstoy, unless you are studying literature, and then why not just copy it from the passnotes like normal people*. Anyway to simulate the sinking feeling of having to read something you're not interested in at twice the sensible speed, and to make sure that any enjoyment or indeed understanding of the subject matter can pass you by, I present the Reading Bully. This is very loosely based on the functionality provided by Flash Reader. Unless otherwise stated the texts are from Project Gutenberg, although for the purposes of accuracy you should probably assume that they have been mangled by my family and other subeditors (in case you haven't met us, my brother is banned from public libraries everywhere for tearing the last page out of everything, and I replace important passages with the word 'fuck'), so if you want guaranteed accuracy buy a fucking copy. As far as I can ascertain all texts are by authors who died more than 70 years ago, and were also published before this date, so they meet even the EU's draconian requirements for being out of copyright, but if you think I'm wrong then get in touch and I'll take 'em down faster than you can say 'but I was reading that'.

Paradise Certainly Lost

A Woman of No Importance

Robinson Crusoe